the problem is a lack of proper description of the things my character refers to. i can do it, and well, but sometimes it feels like pulling teeth. it's just not easy to put down on paper the way someone moves, little day to day details that give them life.

so I've had two stories accepted, which is nice.

but this morning I'm wondering: what do you do when something you spent all of yesterday morning writing is rubbish? I don't have much time, and it bothers me to have spent hours writing something with no life and no plot; not to mention the waste of a good idea.

do I go back and start again? or try rescuing what I've got? I suppose I need to learn to edit sometime.

the burst of energy I got from the acceptance has dissipated over a weekend of childcare etc...it's like winning the lottery and not being allowed to spend the money, really. what's the point of being any good at this if I don't get to actually do it?

ran into some friends and mentioned it; of course they were only mildly impressed, and one said "good on you for sending it off", ie the story. and I don't know why, but I felt a tad patronised. I know he meant well, and in my heart I think I'm pretty brave to send this stuff to real magazines, but at the same time, as he hasn't seen it, how does he know whether it's brilliant or just passable? I don't know myself; just that it's going to be printed in a respectable forum.

and of course now I'm worried: is this going to be the peak of my literary career? pretty sad if so.

heehee. I've just had a call from the esteemed (by me at least) Island magazine saying they'll take a story. Which, after more than ten years of non-fiction, will be my first fiction publication. Of course my efforts up to now have only been sporadic; from here on in I think I might Try Harder.

a list of poetry magazines